I write this in the latter part of the waxing quarter moon, just a couple of days from the energy of a full moon...a blue moon...on October 31. The waxing quarter moon compels us into action and we saw this as Amy Coney Barrett was swiftly sworn in during the wee hours of the night this week - a very waxing quarter moon thing to do, especially when it precedes such a powerful full moon.
The full moon is always powerful, but this coming full moon packs a punch of being a blue moon(the second full moon in a calendar month), on Halloween(hasn't happened since 1944) and my intuition tells me that the expansive energy of this full moon will be bigger than usual. In other words, this is some serious big moon energy. And in the spirit of big moon energy, I'm writing something that I've been meaning to write for a while but honestly, held back on. Why have I held back? Fear, patriarchy, conditioning, Human Design(man/gen 5/1 - I have to sit on things a bit)etc...but this is a time when we need to own our space in the world, so here I go. I'm also writing a book about my experiences in fundamentalist religion(and it is a religion, not a relationship) and this is me easing into being a full on HERETIC.
I keep seeing posts by friends and acquaintances hoping to provide "shock value" to those who follow and laud DJT as a prophet and man of God. They say things like, "I just don't understand how they don't see it" and "How can they think he's a christian?" and they truly don't understand.
But I do. I totally understand.
A friend asked me some time back, "Why are so many christian women marrying narcissists?" and I said, "Easy, because God is the ultimate narcissist and they are told to marry a man like God."
How do I know this? Because I've done it.
Look at the christian god of the Bible. He creates man and woman, then sets them up with a test(don't eat from THIS tree) to see if they will be faithful enough to be worthy of all he has been given, then rips it all away when they fail AND blames them for their own misery taking no responsibility at all. He's like, "I gave you all the trees because I love you so much . I just asked this one thing of you and you blew it." Sound familiar? If you've ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, it does.
Then the cursed people go on to live and reproduce and at some point god is like, "You all suck. You have disappointed me again. I'm going to need to start over." And he picks ONE family to save then wipes the rest out with a flood...babies, toddlers, young teenagers, new couples falling in love - all wiped out so that he can clean up. (Then, the one family he saves ends up in drunk shenanigans eventually too but by then it's too late.) Seriously, was this the only way? Does no one question this?(oh yeah, I forget, he has "mysterious ways" that we shouldn't question) In sunday school we sing songs about all the animals he saved and about how much he loved Noah and family and how he sent rainbows and doves as gifts after the brutal act of wiping out humanity. Sound familiar? If you've been in a relationship with a narcissist it does.
In the books of the law, if your son is disobedient and an alcoholic, you should bring him to the elders to be stoned. If you "blaspheme" the name of god - your church should put you to death. If you worked on the Sabbath you should be put to death. In Deuteronomy, if a woman couldn't prove she was a virgin on her wedding night and her husband was displeased...guess what...STONED. I mean, why are we wondering why christ followers aren't more concerned about kids in cages and black people dying at the hands of racist systems? Why are we wondering why they are cheering on his atrocities? He's exactly like god! And god is love!
Growing up, I was told the stringent rules of the old testament were to show us our need for a "savior." REALLY? I mean, there's not a better way to get that message across without all those people losing their lives, their reputations, their dignity, their children, their land and homes...all of those loved and cherished people got to go through that so that we could read a prayer from the roman road in order to be spared from hell?
Ah, yes...hell. He's the one true god, all powerful, all knowing, but this angel fucked up and became the devil and he let him create a place of eternal torture. Then, in his infinite love and mercy, he decided that anyone who doesn't love him and worship him and swear allegiance to him - even if they are a good person who helps the poor, cares for the sick, clothes the needy and houses the homeless -he's going to send them there to burn forever and ever. I mean, why not? But the good news is, he loves you, and if you just worship him, then you get to live in eternal paradise because he's like a father who wants to care for you and give you good things. Oh, and you will need to make sure you are lucky enough to be in the right denomination using the right translation of the bible with the right theology because we all know you aren't really saved if you didn't pray the prayer or weren't baptized by immersion. And to help you with all of this, he's given you a playbook, written by humans who were superhuman when they wrote it and that will tell you everything you need to know and do to avoid the bad place and be worthy. So what if the world was full of classism and sexism at the time, those dudes were perfect people when they wrote it and it gives you all the information you need. I mean, it's written partially in a language that no longer exists and multiple people have translated it multiple times and they all believe they are the ones who got it right but GOOD LUCK with interpreting it because if you get it wrong - remember - HELL. Enough about god. Back to DJT. When they shout for him, it's because he says it like it is - just like god. When he threatens people or not so covertly suggests they deserve harm for their actions, he's just being like god. When he lets people get wiped out by a preventable disease, he's just doing what god does. When he says someone isn't deserving of humane treatment, he's just like god. And when you have spent your whole life being told that these are the actions of love, of faith and of truth, then when you see all of that come forth in human form, you identify and you celebrate the coming of christ.
This is why you can't post enough memes or articles to shock someone into "seeing it." This is why his atrocities aren't just overlooked, they are seen as right and just.
So in the spirit of big moon energy, I encourage you to expand more deeply into the love in your heart. I'm not talking about love that the patriarchal narcissist named god demands that would ask you to excuse and dismiss reprehensible behavior. I'm talking about fiery love that ignites passion in your soul and moves you off your ass and into doing noble work in the world. I'm talking about a love that flocks to the vulnerable by way of funding and tangible help and says to those who harm them, "NO MORE." I'm talking about a love that admits to being imperfect and apologizes when it does harm and purposes to do better tomorrow. I'm talking about love that shocks like a bolt of lightening with the amount of power that is behind it. I'm talking about love that protects and honors.
Under the light of the Halloween full moon, release your need to be right and your need for judgment and embrace the sword of JUSTICE and start doing JUST THINGS in the world. The healing movement begins in your soul and with your holy hands getting wholly dirty and worn. Anyone can yell and post on social media. But where are you standing and claiming the space you occupy in the world as holy ground?
And under the release energy of this full moon, remember that those who love him - both hims - are acting on what they have been taught and believe is love. Children who are abused by their parents still wail when they are separated from them. Walking away from narcissist love is a painful process that you never feel truly ends. Our brains are designed to keep us in what we know. So instead of returning fire in anger, create a movement that is bigger and packed with true love and mercy. Create justice in your heart and in your community. Find the real energetic SOURCE and do the work that its energy has infused you to do. This is how we heal ourselves and the world around us. Blessed be....